Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Why Xuxu is Learning to Speak Chamoru

My daughter recently visited her great-grandmother, my grandma. Xuxu loves these visits. She loves asking questions, telling Nana about her day, and playing with the few toys that are still left at my grandma's house. And during this particular visit, Xuxu decided to try out some newly learned Chamoru words during an animated conversation. My grandmother, laughing, decided that Xuxu was talking gibberish.

That's when I interjected and explained that no, Xuxu is speaking a legit language. She's learning Chamoru along with her dad, who's learning from older native speakers and teaching himself. At this point she knows more Chamoru words and phrases than I can recognize.

My grandma, who grew up poor and white in a north Idaho mining town, couldn't make much sense of this. And a lot of other people can't seem to, either. Why would you teach a kid who talks white, who regularly passes for white, a language that is currently experiencing a cultural resurgence but that is largely only spoken on a handful of Pacific islands that Xuxu's never even been to?

I'm starting to feel more capable of explaining why we want Xuxu to learn her dad's native language. At first it was tough. Here I am, obviously white mama to a little girl with caramel colored hair, blue-green eyes and tan skin. One who's speaking English with no accent, but mixing it with unknown words in a foreign language. I understand why people squint at me, get a little perturbed. Am I one of those parents, trying to claim something that isn't mine? Or is my kid one of those overachievers who's learning multiple languages before preschool? Am I one of those multicultural appreciation parents, who's trying to inundate my kid with other's stories and languages just because I want her to grow up to be culturally sensitive? There's plenty of parents like this in liberal-leaning Washington State; I just don't quite fit the visual stereotype. Uff da, as my older Scandinavian relatives were known to say.

So, it's no, no, and no. Xuxu is learning Chamoru because Xuxu is Chamoru - more commonly spelled Chamorro, although this spelling is the Spanish interpretation of an indigenous word. Chamorro are the native peoples (in Chamoru, Taotao Haya) of the Marianas Islands, the most well-known of these being Saipan and Guam. My partner's family is from Guam, and although his immediate family has lived stateside for the last 20 years, they have not lost their connection to their islands.

It's a connection my partner hopes our daughter - and our soon-to-arrive second child - will feel. Culturally, Xuxu is Chamorro. She is learning and sharing in traditions, language and values. While I hope she also appreciates and shares in my cultural background, I wasn't raised with a distinct set of cultural ties. The closest thing I had was a strong relationship with my Swedish great-grandmother. Unlike me, Xuxu is part of a large extended family that is tied together by common culture, what one could term a sense of tribal unity. She's been included in that world since her very first day. If she hadn't been, I might hesitate to call her Chamorro, although that's certainly a large chunk of her genetic makeup. She's more Pacific Islander than I am Norwegian and Swedish, which I like to claim when I'm feeling weirdly nostalgic for something I don't have. Maybe it's my own response to feeling culturally void.

But Xuxu is growing up with strong cultural identifiers. She is learning more than words, more than food and fiestas. She is learning about ties to an ecosystem and a community, about values that connect her to her grandparents and great-grandparents and their experiences learning and growing on an island first brutally colonized by the Spanish, then governed as a colony by the United States. Connections not only to those grandparents, but to ancestors long deceased who spoke some of the same words, danced some of the same dances, heard and told some of the same stories. Xuxu is participating in a centuries-old cultural tradition that is currently being restored and reclaimed by Chamorro people across the Marianas and North America. And Xuxu's white mom is excited for her.


Sunday, August 3, 2014

Reasons for Being

I started this blog as part of an ongoing project for a college course - an upper division English/Education class called A Global View Through Children's Literature -  that I had to drop out of, thanks to financial aid restrictions. Which sucked, because I'd already bought the required texts and I was really enjoying where the course was headed. I still managed to graduate with a BFA in English/Creative Writing (and yes, you don't need to tell me; I know my grammatical skills are still somewhat lacking). Since graduating in June, I haven't written anything beyond a few scribbled notes about ideas for poems or short stories I might someday write. Grad school is not on my immediate horizon; I'm more focused on trying to birth this baby, who now feels like a colossal watermelon that decided to take up residence in my abdomen. The next couple years promise to be full of late night feedings, poopy diapers (of course we have to make things harder for ourselves and commit to using cloth nappies) and balancing the needs of my two-and-a-half-year-old with the ever present, ever changing requirements of raising an infant. Less writing, more wiping.

So I'm not planning on diving into freelance writing, although it's something I've dipped my toes into, or taking the GREs, or completing my first poetry chapbook, all things college graduates with writing degrees are supposed to be doing. I am going to be a stay-at-home parent who hopefully is also going to be helping my partner start a small organic farm. On Guam, no less. I just like doing things out of order.

This blog, however, might help prevent me from losing everything I just spent far too long learning. It will be my stand-in writing project for the foreseeable future. Hopefully you can bear with me, and see what happens with it along the ride. If you're reading this, you're probably related to me or already know me in some way, so none of this should come as a surprise. So I should probably say: thanks for reading! thanks again for taking further interest in my life by checking out my haphazard late-night mom musings. Okay, I know it's just past 10 pm, but that might as well be 2 am in Pregnant Mom Time.